sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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