please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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