Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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