Non-Jews are for practice
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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