oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
