it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Randomize
