I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Randomize
