real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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