My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
