I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
