She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize