Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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