? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
do nipples grow back?
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
