But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
