This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Randomize