She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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