just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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