i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
