So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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