You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize