But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
