some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
True but thats because hes a fetus.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
