So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
