I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Randomize
