why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
