she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
