is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
as a side note pls kill me
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