Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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