so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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