Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
