ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
