i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Randomize
