Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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