I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
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