Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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