Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Randomize
