he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
