Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
