i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
