Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Every concussion has its silver lining
When did we convert life to cartoon?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
