We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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