i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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