thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
