My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
