She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
