dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
where does the pee come out of this thing
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
