Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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