I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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