All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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