Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize