So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Randomize
