she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
