Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Is Oprah even human
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
