Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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