I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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