doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
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