Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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