I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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