Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
