im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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