I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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