dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Randomize
