So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Randomize
