Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
